Parentsology

For most parents, one of the most trying times in their lives is during their child’s teenage years. When puberty hits, young adults go through serious changes in their bodies and minds, and parents have little or no control over many situations. In an autistic child, puberty is no different. Although your autistic child is not experiencing puberty in quite the same ways as others his or her age, major hormonal changes still occur in the body. This can lead to extreme results, and this can be either good or bad depending on how your child reacts to the new hormone levels.

One of the scariest side effects of changes in an autistic person’s body is the onset of seizures. Many autistic individuals experience seizures from birth to adulthood, but even if your child does not suffer from these episodes, he or she may begin to experience seizures during puberty and afterwards, due to the new levels of hormones in the body. Strange as it may sound, violent shaking seizures are not necessarily a bad thing. Almost a quarter of autistic children experience seizures, but many go undetected because they are not textbook versions of seizures. If you recognize that your child is experiencing a seizure, you can do something about it, and doctors will be able to better treat your child. However, if the seizures are subconsciously happening, you and your child may not realize it. The result of these small hidden seizures can be a loss in function, which can be devastating, especially if you child was improving before puberty. Regular check-ups during puberty, therefore, are extremely important.

The changes might not necessarily be a bad thing. New hormone levels in the body and the other changes associated with puberty might help your autistic child grow and succeed in areas in which he or she normally had no skill or interest. Many parents report that their child’s behavior improved, and that learning in social settings was easier.

The important thing about puberty is to learn to monitor the changes in your child very carefully and to ask your doctor lots of questions. Remember that puberty is a difficult experience for any young adult, and so it will be even more difficult for someone with autism. Try to practice patience and understanding with your teen, and be careful to regulate his or her autism so that the transition from child to adult will go more smoothly.

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Toddlers and young children can be fussy eaters who refuss to try new foods at least half of the time. Approximately half of all toddlers fit this description, so it is no wonder that healthy eating and food issues are often a source of stress for parents.

Establishing healthy eating patterns is important to avoid problems such as obesity and eating disorders later in life. Various strategies can help your child accept a wider range of foods. It may be necessary to offer a food to your child as many as ten different times before they choose to eat it. The problem is, many parents get frustrated and give up before the fourth or fifth try.

Try to make foods fun. Colorful foods like carrot sticks, raisins, apples, grapes, cheese sticks and crackers can all be fun and healthy choices for your growing toddler. Explain to them that eating good food is important so they’ll grow big and strong, and how it will help them run faster and play longer.

One of the newer more popular ways of making sure your child eats healthy food and meals is to grind up or puree foods into dishes such as stew, soup, pasta sauce, etc. Using a blender or the Magic Bullet, puree healthy foods such as spinach, carrots, or any other healthy food. Once added to another favorite dish, odds are the child will never notice the additions and munch on a good and healthy meal.

Children learn behaviors from their parents. If you restrict yourself to a narrow range of foods, your child will take notice and mimic your actions. Don’t limit your child’s food variety to only those foods you prefer. It may be that your child’s tastes are different to yours, and perhaps you are simply serving them foods they don’t happen to like. Try to set a good example and try a variety of foods in front of your child.

If your child seems healthy and energetic, then they are eating enough. If you are still concerned, keep an eye on how much food they actually eat over the day. Children tend to graze constantly, rather than restrict their eating to three meals per day like adults. You may be surprised how those little handfuls and snacks add up. For further reassurance, check your child’s growth and weight charts, or check with your child’s pediatrician.

Try not to worry, and remember, that unless a child is ill, they will eat. Children are very good at judging their hunger and fullness signals. Try to stay relaxed about mealtime and offer your child a wide variety of foods, and most importantly, remember to set a good example by trying a wide variety of foods yourself. You may discover you and your toddler share a new found favorite food!

Anyone that parents a special needs child knows the stress that usually accompanies the parenting of the child. The stress level can sky rocket, and if you don’t have some backup help and/or respite care for yourself also, the stress level can become overwhelming.

There are no easy answers on how to raise a child with special needs. Every child is different, as is every parent in their parenting methods. But the stress level is invariably there. Handling the stress is necessary in order to provide good care not only for your child, but for yourself and the rest of the family as well.

The main thing a parent with a special needs child needs to know is that they are not alone. There is help out there! Even if you are a single mom raising a child or children alone, there is help. It’s up to the parent however to realize that it’s not a sign of failure as a parent to need and accept help in caring for your special needs child.

A special needs child that also has sever anger issues can send a parent’s stress level shooting through the roof. Discipline for a special needs child is often very different than the way you would discipline a child without special needs. So a parent is often left feeling helpless and not knowing what to do, and feeling they have no where to turn in getting a break from parenting. In fact, a lot of parents actually feel guilty for even wanting a break, let alone taking one. The idea of a few hours away from their child makes them feel as though they are failing their child as a parent. For some reason, some parents feel that to parent their special needs child, that means being around them and caring for them 24/7 without any outside help.

Parents need to take a break! Hire a competent babysitter, even a nurse if needed, get family to help, ask a friend for help! The point is get out of the house alone or with your spouse for a few hours and enjoy yourself. You cannot change the issues your child may have. You cannot change the fact that the child needs to be cared for and looked after. You cannot do much to change a child that has sever anger issues. You generally cannot stop the stress that is bound to occur from parenting special needs children. But you can get a break, you can get out a few hours a week alone to unwind, and you can get help to allow you to get that much needed break.

Special needs kids are special indeed and we love our kids very much. But we as parents need to be able to unwind and relieve the stress so that we are better able to parent. Never feel guilty for needing to ask for help!