by BlondieWrites on July 25, 2009
Being a single parent is not easy. It is like doing two jobs in one sitting. Single parenting requires you to be an understanding mother or a tough and a providing father all at the same time. Stress and single parenting, therefore, works together, giving single mom and dad a terrible headache every single day.
Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.
So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.
The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.
Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.
The internet isn’t there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn’t just on sales transactions — sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay — but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.
Yes, believe it or don’t, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.
If you are a fast typist, you can offer typing services through ‘telecommuting.’ It is a secretarial job that doesn’t require a single parent to be ‘on-site’ or at the place where the office is located.
Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire ‘virtual assistant’ to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.
The virtual assistant will be paid online via Paypal or Online Checks, every 15th and 30th of the month, or as agreed by both parties.
This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.
As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children’s feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.
Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn’t have that much liberty to think this way.
Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual activities expected of a ‘regular’ parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can’t be just like ‘any other dad’ and work his bottom from sunrise till night.
A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can’t accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.
by BlondieWrites on October 28, 2008
For most parents, one of the most trying times in their lives is during their child’s teenage years. When puberty hits, young adults go through serious changes in their bodies and minds, and parents have little or no control over many situations. In an autistic child, puberty is no different. Although your autistic child is not experiencing puberty in quite the same ways as others his or her age, major hormonal changes still occur in the body. This can lead to extreme results, and this can be either good or bad depending on how your child reacts to the new hormone levels.
One of the scariest side effects of changes in an autistic person’s body is the onset of seizures. Many autistic individuals experience seizures from birth to adulthood, but even if your child does not suffer from these episodes, he or she may begin to experience seizures during puberty and afterwards, due to the new levels of hormones in the body. Strange as it may sound, violent shaking seizures are not necessarily a bad thing. Almost a quarter of autistic children experience seizures, but many go undetected because they are not textbook versions of seizures. If you recognize that your child is experiencing a seizure, you can do something about it, and doctors will be able to better treat your child. However, if the seizures are subconsciously happening, you and your child may not realize it. The result of these small hidden seizures can be a loss in function, which can be devastating, especially if you child was improving before puberty. Regular check-ups during puberty, therefore, are extremely important.
The changes might not necessarily be a bad thing. New hormone levels in the body and the other changes associated with puberty might help your autistic child grow and succeed in areas in which he or she normally had no skill or interest. Many parents report that their child’s behavior improved, and that learning in social settings was easier.
The important thing about puberty is to learn to monitor the changes in your child very carefully and to ask your doctor lots of questions. Remember that puberty is a difficult experience for any young adult, and so it will be even more difficult for someone with autism. Try to practice patience and understanding with your teen, and be careful to regulate his or her autism so that the transition from child to adult will go more smoothly.
by BlondieWrites on June 28, 2008
Anyone that parents a special needs child knows the stress that usually accompanies the parenting of the child. The stress level can sky rocket, and if you don’t have some backup help and/or respite care for yourself also, the stress level can become overwhelming.
There are no easy answers on how to raise a child with special needs. Every child is different, as is every parent in their parenting methods. But the stress level is invariably there. Handling the stress is necessary in order to provide good care not only for your child, but for yourself and the rest of the family as well.
The main thing a parent with a special needs child needs to know is that they are not alone. There is help out there! Even if you are a single mom raising a child or children alone, there is help. It’s up to the parent however to realize that it’s not a sign of failure as a parent to need and accept help in caring for your special needs child.
A special needs child that also has sever anger issues can send a parent’s stress level shooting through the roof. Discipline for a special needs child is often very different than the way you would discipline a child without special needs. So a parent is often left feeling helpless and not knowing what to do, and feeling they have no where to turn in getting a break from parenting. In fact, a lot of parents actually feel guilty for even wanting a break, let alone taking one. The idea of a few hours away from their child makes them feel as though they are failing their child as a parent. For some reason, some parents feel that to parent their special needs child, that means being around them and caring for them 24/7 without any outside help.
Parents need to take a break! Hire a competent babysitter, even a nurse if needed, get family to help, ask a friend for help! The point is get out of the house alone or with your spouse for a few hours and enjoy yourself. You cannot change the issues your child may have. You cannot change the fact that the child needs to be cared for and looked after. You cannot do much to change a child that has sever anger issues. You generally cannot stop the stress that is bound to occur from parenting special needs children. But you can get a break, you can get out a few hours a week alone to unwind, and you can get help to allow you to get that much needed break.
Special needs kids are special indeed and we love our kids very much. But we as parents need to be able to unwind and relieve the stress so that we are better able to parent. Never feel guilty for needing to ask for help!
